X-Factor.. The Story So Far

Having watched this series of the X-Factor religiously, the time has come to make it a case of public record.


Lets gloss over the funny (pointless) bootcamp stage and concentrate on the live shows.


I feel I should mention the acts that have already been eliminated, firstly I was very sad to see Nicolo andFYD leave as I do like it when they actually pick some acts that are a bit individual without being idiots. As for Storm “you haven’t seen the best of me yet” Lee, as much as I am going to miss Simon’s uncontrollable disdain for your very existence, I must say that you not being in the competition is a very good thing. Nobody wants to see Bono and The Riddler’s love child murdering Bruce Springsteen and managing to make motorbikes uncool.


John was one of my favourites, a genuinely nice guy with a great voice, reminiscent of Al Green. He could have done big things but wasn’t given the right song. Now he’s gone.


It would be wrong for me not to mention Diva Fever. So there.. you are mentioned

The Boys


Aiden



His shaky; out-of-control-intensity grips me and even when his vocal isn’t spot on. It gives him that Jeff Buckley on-the-edge feel which is great.


Paije


As equally as enjoyable for me as Aiden, his great fashion sense (yes Simon, that is fashionable these days), his quirky style and his unusual voice makes him similar, but better than CeeLo Green.


Matt Cardle


Matt is obviously and rightly one of the favourites, however a few little points I feel should be considered, 1) Stop wearing a hat. 2) Move about a bit and try to perform instead of just singing or you may be in danger of becoming like wallpaper and finally 3) Never EVER cover Britney Spears. Here’s one word that will send shivers down the spine of all reality TV fans – Darius!

The Girls


Cher


If they made Thunderbirds dolls of Cheryl, surely they would look like Cher? Her singing is average, her facial expressions are bizarre and nobody should ever do to Blackstreet what she did, your time has come my dear, it baffles me how the judges like you?


TreyC


She may have a phonetically bamboozling name but she really is blossoming into a great performer and her versatility really is making her shine.


Katie Waissell


Katie is, annoyingly, not so annoying anymore. Her last two performances vastly improved and her performance of the Disney classic last weekend even bought about the revelation that Simon Cowell’s favourite film is The Jungle Book; which makes the randomness of it totally worth it. She may have a comedy giant left ear, and she did go through a stage of wanting to be Gaga and Madonna but she has finally reached a stage where she is being herself and herself is pretty good.


Rebecca


She’s brilliant, warm, soulful and perhaps a diva in the making – I think she’s our eventual winner. She has the look, voice and the temperament to be a huge success and will inevitably do very well in this competition and beyond.



Over 28′s

Mary


Finally the eclectic madness that is the over 28’s, starting with Dawn French standalike, Mary. A charming, likable lady with a strong voice, Mary will probably do quite well but she’s more a cruise performer or someone who’d do well in the West End. As a major recording artist … it’s not going to happen.


Wagner


The Brazilian, retired PE teacher from Dudley is nothing short of TV gold. His shiny mane, his perfectly groomed facial hair and this weeks neon string vest combined with Latin based medleys and bongo solos made him a real contender for best novelty act ever in the competition. He won’t win, but he will get a few singles out of it – that and Z-List celebrity status. Remember Chico?


The Groups


Belle Amie


Now changed their name from Bel Ami (Google it to see why) are really struggling. Four physically gorgeous girls but with four totally different styles and four average voices. Now I’m not claiming Girls Aloud have the best voices, nor do Sugababes, but this is an entertainment competition and your wailing is no longer entertaining.


One Direction


Moving onto the innuendo-tastic Wand Erection as they are slowly becoming known, I think they should be called Giganta-Bieber & His Four Backing Singers. Decent voices, they work well together and look good but need better song choices.